Lon Ray

Where are we? Who are you? Why am I here?

Funny Beer Link

Another Funny Beer Link

OK…time to answer the BIO questions…

What you should know about me…
I hate clowns. If you approach me dressed as one I will administer a beatdown on your goofy ass. Double that if you approach my kid.

What would you be surprised to know about me?
I have eight nipples.

Last movie I went to and when?
I can’t even remember what I had for lunch.

Alcoholic beverage of choice?
Free, preferably.

Top 5 movies of all time…
Blues Brothers
Animal
House
Blazing Saddles
From Dusk ’til Dawn
Dazed and Confused. Great Soundtrack.

5 must have CDs…
AC/DC…If You Want Blood You Got It
Van Halen…II
Judas Priest…Hell Bent For
Leather
Pantera…Reinventing The Steel
Robin Trower…LIVE

When I hit the Lottery…
I will disappear. If you can find me, I’m buyin’.

I can’t stand…
Keanu Reeves, American Idol, the Ford Festiva, Rednecks, Okra, Oprah, Diva Chicks, MTV, Michael Bolton, Michael Jackson, Michael Moore, The
ACLU, Auto Repair, Jennifer Anniston (unless she’s doing me on a pile of hundred dollar bills), Korean Food, Hangovers, Tough Guys, Hip Hop, Kids Who Work At Home Improvement Stores Who Think They Can Administer Advice Just Because They Wear A Red Vest, Any Cologne But Old Spice and Public Toilets. Oh yeah…and Clowns.

Who deserves a punch in the mouth?
ANY celebrity or musician who endorses a political candidate. I look to you for entertainment, not opinion. You do not live in my world.

Favorite Phrase…
“Smooth move, tarpaper”


Recent Headlines

in Music

Ozzy wants Bill Ward back for Black Sabbath swansong

Fresh
ozzy

The rocker is keen to end his stand-off with drummer Bill Ward so he can join his bandmates for a final show.

in Sports

Royals outfielders cram for ‘quirky’ AT&T test

Fresh
dyson

The irresistible talents of the Royals' outfielders may be tested by the inscrutable elements of San Francisco's quirky right field.

in Sports

Lakers’ Nash out for season with back injury

Fresh
nash

The latest setback suggests the two-time NBA Most Valuable Player may have played his final game.

in Sports

Manning adds to touchdown record as Broncos beat Chargers

Fresh
manning

Denver QB Peyton Manning added three more touchdowns to his career record as the Broncos beat San Diego.

in Trending, Viral Videos

TODAY’S MUST SEE: Spooky ‘Shining’ inspired IKEA commercial

Fresh
17-overlay2

You'll never aimlessly wander the floors of IKEA the same way again.